Hey, campaign managers! Hope you've been checking your calendar, because you should know, Super Tuesday is going to fall on the same day as Mardi Gras. As you are no doubt aware, Mardi Gras is the day where college students across the country get rocked out of their gourds on Boone's Farm and engage in a little tit-for-tat bartering, where "tat" refers to strings of cheap, plastic beads. It's the audacity of grope!
So, if you were counting on "the youth vote" to mobilize on Super Tuesday, I'd start making some alternate plans, because if the "youths" do make it to the polls, they'll probably all vote for "Pedro" or something. The feeble and infirm will still probably get confused and vote for Pat Buchanan, so there are still things you can count on. Laissez les bons temps roulez!