Virginia Arrests Man for Spam Email Under New Law

Virginia Attorney General Jerry Kilgore said Jeremy Jaynes had been arrested earlier Thursday in Raleigh, N.C., on four counts of using fraudulent means to transmit spam.

Kilgore told a news conference that officials were in negotiations for the surrender of a second man, Richard Rutowski, on the same charges. ..

"ATTENTION SPAMMERS: Did you know that if you take a toy gun, and paint over the little fluorescent ring on the end with black paint, or if you dip a water gun in black paint, or if you just carve a potato into the shape of a gun and apply black shoe polish, your surrender can be negotiated much more quickly and efficiently.

Simply opt in to any one of these three easy options, and then run directly towards law enforcement officers while holding your black-colored gun-shaped object. For additional efficiency, scream as loud as you possibly can that you have "just one more free offer to send out" while running towards aforementioned law enforcement officers.

This public service announcement on proper surrender techniques for spammers has been brought to you by the approximately one billion email users of Planet Earth. "